Hey mofos!

Whew-- funny how time flies when you're having fun and hot flashes--or whatever Janet Jackson sang. 

Can you believe a year ago this week, I had a melt down in the pre-op room and was knocked out before I even got to the operating room and I broke up with my uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes?! 

So, how have me and my ovaries been since we ejected the issues causing the fibroids? I'm glad you asked! 

It has been a joy to not have a period every month, bleeding through my clothes and anything in my wake. It has been a joy to be able to leave the house and not worry about ruining my clothes and being embarrassed. I had gotten to the point where I had to change my double pads + a tampon every 30 minutes. That's no way to be. 

My stomach doesn't look 6-7 months pregnant, BUT I'd give it a 3-4 month look, unless the swelly belly decides to take place and then it's back to the 5-6 month look. Swelly belly is basically swelling like it would if you sprained your ankle and was on it for a while when it hasn't quite healed. So, if I'm standing up for a long time or stressed--hello swelling. My iron levels are AMAZING and holding steady and I was finally released from getting it checked every 3 months and no more iron infusions.. amen! 

Having iron levels steady and normal have allowed my hair to start growing back and it's THICK, my nails are stronger, my skin doesn't look so dried out, and my eyebrows are coming back in. So for those that wondered why I was wearing wigs when I have hair.. the point was I HAD hair but then I didn't so I resorted to wearing wigs and clip ins to cover it--now I don't have to but I still do for Check the Rhymes TV cuz I don't wanna do my hair half the time LOL. 

I decided to try HRT (hormone replacement therapy) because I still felt off, wasn't sleeping well, and the hot flashes were intermittent but they were fast and furious when they would occur, my skin was having the most random break outs, and shall we discuss the amount of dandruff and dismay, along with vaginal dryness (TMI but if you listen to the Ladies Edition Podcast you'll hear even more). I also found it was increasingly hard to lose weight no matter how hard I tried-- past the 11 pounds I lost a few months ago. (I put 4 of em back on). So I FINALLY found a doctor that tested my ish and I was low on progesterone, testosterone, and my estrogen was good (shout out to them good ovaries). So we tried a testosterone gel-- for me, it didn't do much, my skin wasn't absorbing it, but it does cause hair loss so I was like NAWL my ish just started growing back after fibroids and low iron damaged it so bad. We started me on progestin which is a bio-identical drug (yes I did my research and even talked to the Menopause doc about it since she was a guest on the podcast and prescribes natural remedies). Immediately I was sleeping at night, and my skin was clearing up, the night sweats weren't AS bad and lawd the dryness went away! AMENNNNNNNN now I guess you're wondering how the secks is? I don't know yet--I was scared to do it until I was SURE all the stitches were gone and everything was healed because I know too many stories about things going wrong when you ain't healed all the way EVEN if the doctor says it's okay. But to each her own, I ain't judging. Pelvic floor exercises are your friend--trust me!

Anyhoo, I also started a super low low low dose of estrogen--in the form of a patch because I was having some intense hot flashes when triggered (one person and their drama was sending me to the freezer to stick my head in it every time they called and call). The day I left the dentist office chair soaking wet and my clothes drenched, I knew I needed some help. Perimenopause can be hell on a girl. Some people have random pains, joint aching, and unexplained weight gain. I started to ease off the estrogen because of the insane mood swings, but realized my body just had to get used to that extra lil dose. Now, it seems to be all good. If only this belly fat would slide off, I'd be even better. 

So, I say all that to say I don't regret having the surgery at all. I just wish I had done it sooner. Sometimes I do think about what could have been if I had birthed some chirren but the way these fibroids sat on my bladder and caused intense cravings and on and on, but ultimately I had to choose me and that meant choosing a better quality of life. I am still working on the mental aspect of not having those parts anymore, but 99% of the time, I'm okay unless it's around when it would have been my time of the month and PMS hits (yes that still happens cuz I have my ovaries) then I'm ugly crying about WHYYYYYYYYYYY knowing damn hell well I don't mean that. 

I do find that I no longer want to write about fertility ANYTHING and wish publicists would stop sending me press releases etc--but they don't know about me and my journey so I get it, they are just doing their job. 

Some of you may be asking if the Ladies Edition podcast is returning, and the answer is I'm not sure. We both had to choose healing and cutting drama and toxicity out of our lives before we can give you our best selves, but for now, those 10 amazing episodes are still available anywhere podcasts stream. 

Happy Anniversary to me choosing me and my health! 

~Meik