I.
AM.
TRIFLIN!



Now that we've gotten that out of the way..HEYYYYYYY MOFO-VILLE!

I know it's been a minute but hey when you have 50'levum paying jobs, your personal blog takes a bit of a back seat. However, I see that I'm not the only one so I'd like to issue a challenge to my fellow bloggers.. for the month of April..let's vow to do at least THREE blogs next month! You in? Tweet and lemme know @Mofochronicles or post in the comments...let's hold each other accountable!

Now..in today's post..I want y'all to turn to the Book of Mofos That Don't Do What They Say They Gonna Do, Chapter:5 Scripture1: THOU SHALL NOT SET UP A DATE IF THOU DO NOT PLAN TO GO ON IT.



Raise your hand when you get there.

What happened Meik?

I'm glad you asked.

So, since I've entered the dating arena since King Mofo ruined all my marriage plans (LOL) and dreams of marrying in my 20's n ish.. I've seen my share of mofo-ish antics, well hell the blog is the proof. I've been asked on dates, and while they may not have been the best dates, they were dates that showed up and showed the f out. I've been asked on dates that well, have left me sitting here waiting and waiting and waiting...and..well you get the point. The mofo is a no call, no show.

Let's dig into this "let's stand my date up" phenomenon. WHAT IS THE DAYUM POINT?

1. If you don't want to go out, here's a thought; DON'T ASK FOR A DATE!

2. If you do want to go out and plans change, say your babysitter cancels, you get hit by a truck, teeth fall out (thanks twitter lol), or you get called into work unexpectedly, or you have the boo boo's and can't leave the toilet--a simple text, call, smoke signal will do. DO NOT TWEET OR FB THAT ISH! Make is personal :)

3. If you have a bae, but you aren't willing to claim that bae, your arse shouldn't be asking nobody to go no dayum where but that bae.

4. Falling asleep is not an excuse. If your arse is that tired, then you need to cancel that date well in advance (hours prior) and take yo arse to bed. WE betta not see you making it rain on IG.

5. Prior to the date, confirm the deets--time, place, who gonna pick up who..or if you are meeting.. or here's a thought..if you need to change some ish!

I recently got asked to go to lunch by a guy I've had a crush on for years! I was ELATED! He finally noticed that I am potential bae!



Well, I knew what was up when I didn't get a confirmation or anything prior to, I knew what was coming because I admit, this ish has happened multiple times with this dude...but just like Charlie Brown gets the okey doke from Lucy and that football.. I am the same dayum way. bless.

Long story short, he was a no call, no show. After being stood up multiple times over the years by various f*ck boys I have learned not to waste my gas driving anywhere until they text or call they are leaving their house and on the way. Otherwise, I'm sitting there staring at the ceiling blinking back tears wondering why I wore my suck the fat in panties and can't breathe for nothing.



So when I did I hear from this mofo? 12 hours later AFTER the fact and his response was CALL ME. Uh no sir..NO. You mofo'n pick up the phone and call me, YOU asked me to lunch YOU stood me up.. NOPE.



Here we are weeks later.. still no call...no show...no explanation.. just me....finally getting it-- he just ain't that into me..and lemme pick up my football and go home.

How do you deal with being stood up? It is an ego buster for sure, but I think over the age of 30, your arse should not be standing folks up. Be a man or a lady and pick up the phone and say "we ain't going." As for the standupee--all we can do is shake it off and not hold it against the next one..but as for me and my petty ways, I won't give another shot to a mofo that stands me up the first time.



Lesson Learned: Once a stander upper..always a stander upper-- move on. If you are actually at the spot sitting alone..hell just make it look like you meant for that to happen, order some drinks and have yourself a good arse time! Hell you never know..he or she may have been lame company anyway! :)



Until Later
-Meik