Those mofo'n milestone birthdays...

Y'all know what I'm talking about.. you know.. 21, 25, 30..and well we just gonna stop there because continuing will only make me wanna throw this computer screen on the floor.. but you get the point right?

How many of you start getting reflective and nostalgic as the months turn into weeks..weeks turn into days..days turn into hours until you hit that milestone birthday?

I have one coming up in September and hell naw I'm not gonna tell you WHICH one it is, but the past few weeks I've been in such a funk over turning this milestone age..

Why Meik?

It's simple.. I feel like I haven't accomplished the things that I set out to do.. granted most of those should have been handled years ago, but you know how love knocks you on your arse and ish doesn't get done? Ok.. no problemo, but once you really take stock of things.. you start wondering.. did I make a mistake when I took this job, moved to this city, went out with this mofo, rejected this mofo...well you get the point right?

So here we are.. just a lil over 6 weeks away from the milestone bday that we aren't going to name, and I am a complete utter mess that wants to crawl in a corner and just rock.. and rock.. but then my deddy informed me that black folks don't do that so I just have to rock internally so he won't know *shhhhh*

Anyway.. by now I thought I would have FINALLY found the career that I LOVE.. and not absolutely want to claw out the eyeballs of ..well I better not say but if you know me, then you know who's eyelids I hope falls off.. but I digress, but I never thought that I would still be "STUCK" in this spot years later without much progress to show for it. Trust me..it's not without trying. I'm pretty sure every company in America has seen my resume, and I'm pretty sure all of my crushes just ain't interested..so there goes the marriage idea..and kids..or KID..well.. that's another issue.. but it boils down to this I'm starting to feel LEFT BEHIND as my friends all move forward in the natural progression called life and I well.. I'm happy for them, I just wish I could relate to the ish they have going on in their lives..cuz I just blank stare most of the time LOL



*LIGHTBULB*.. as I type this I realized I'm focusing on the WRONG thing.. I need to focus on the things that I have accomplished..so whether you wanna read this ish or not, I'm going to hit the highlights just cuz it's my blog and I feel like it..

1. Went on a reality show (If you have followed me for awhile then you should know WHICH show..if you don't know then eh well.. too bad LOL) and walked away with some great friends.. look at lil ole me the risk taker..Fear was NOT an option on this milestone b-day.. well it was but you know what I mean.

2. I walked away from a man I just KNEW was gonna be my hubby and baby deddy..but in the end.. I FOUND ME (and didn't go to jail) and You found me also..cuz if he hadn't of munked ish up the Mofo Chronicles would not be here!

3. I created this blog! Found my writing rhythm and hell, I think I've done pretty good so far.. don't you? I also started writing for Soultrain.com and allowed others to read some of my screenplays and have received awesome feedback that makes me realize I just might have a lil bit of talent in these fingers of mine..who knew?!

4. I have had the opportunity to interview so many amazing artists/celebs that I look up to and have grown up listening to.. and the wisdom and advice they have given me is absolutely priceless.. how many people can say they got advice from some of the very folks that made the music you were probably conceived off of.. wayment.. that don't even sound right..welp *shrugs* you get the point.

5. I finally realized how important family and friends are. Work isn't everything and unfortunately work has been the pain in my arse the past few years..again if you know me..then you know the changes that I have gone through with this thang including losing a lot of my beloved hair, stress drama etc.. you know how hard I am fighting this win-less battle..but I have learned to not give up the fight.. so in this fight I have rediscovered my relationship with God. Trust me when I say.. God is the only reason I haven't .....well, that's not for me to post on here..but He knows..

These are just some of the positive things, others probably need to go into the privacy of my journal..but I just really had to type this thang out since it's late at night and I really had no one that I could call to talk to about the thoughts running through my head right now..so I thought durrrrrr I'll just BLOG! Amazingly, I feel better already.. so Thank you dear Mofo Chronicles readers for being here in my time of insanity and *gulp* mid-mid-mid life crisis (I'm sure I'll have a few more over the years LOL)

How have you dealt with the " I'm going to be x years old and ish aint happening woes?" I'm curious to hear your responses!


Stay Classy!
~Meik