I don’t know about ya’ll, but 2009 has been one of those years that I won’t miss — not one bit. Matter of fact, the entire decade can go to hell in a handbasket, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog. I thought with the spirit of 2009 finally kicking rocks, it’s only fitting to do some reflection, stroll down memory lane and recap the lessons that I hoped you learned, cursed at, laughed at, or even attempted to implement this year..

Plus..you know I just love making lists … so here we go:

5. I sure hope some of you learned how to MINGLE when out at social events … but as we near the end of the year, and judging by what I’ve seen this month … Imma go with “no.” Just remember to ditch the security blanket called your clique once you enter a social event. Hell, you never know who you might meet.

4. Before heading out to any event, just because it’s called “Grown and Sexy” does not mean show up with your ASSets hanging out. Instead it’s a state of mind; just up your swag game and get your party on! Unless the party calls for you wearing your lingerie, leave the ish at home for your after-the-party booty call. Let these fellas have the opportunity to imagine what you are working with.

3. If you do meet someone — whether its online, at the gas station, grocery store, or even on the light rail — make sure you take the appropriate steps. Let’s review: Screen that mofo. And if you decide to meet up, stay alert, and always notify someone of where you are going. Mace is your best friend!

2. Do what you say you gonna damn do. If you aren’t interested in someone, man up and say so, rather than stringing them along. The best advice I could ever give is treat a person how you want to be treated. If you would prefer someone to play games and make you figure out if they are or are not interested, then fine, do what you do; however, rather than waste someone’s time, the best approach is to just say (in a nice way of course) that you just aren’t compatible and move the hell on.

1. The approach is everything. Fellas, if you are wondering why you can’t find a good woman, take a step back and look at HOW you are approaching us, asking for the goodies right off the bat. Would you want your mother, sister, cousin, or even daughter to drop the panties for lame lines like that? No, I think not. You’d want them to keep the bakery locked up tight with the key in a safe until the time is right.

Ladies, we as women deserve to be celebrated rather than treated like an old stale lemon cake that these men get a taste of and then throw away. If men want to satisfy their sweet tooth without handling their biz the correct way, then politely remind them: They have two good hands, use them.

That about sums it up. In 2010 fam, let’s vow to do better. Happy New Year!